once upon a norza

There was some buzz over here and he wrote something in relation to the entry (but not against breastfeeding!). Imo...this is one of the issues which doesn't have a right or wrong answer and I hope to breastfeed my future lil ones...insyaAllah. I think Irah has written a pretty good article on her experience. Here's my reply to her article:

chak! i was just like you, sis. i tell myself that i must breastfeed my newborn and read up on breastfeeding...downloaded demo videos even..haha. i bf Aisyah for barely 2wks only. i asked the nurses whether I'm doing it correctly and was happy to know that she latched on correctly. Alhamdulillah, there was colustrum the night I had my csect even though I know that it was going to be a bit slower for csect mommies.

On the 2nd day, I had cracked nipples because Aisyah was sucking too hard (according to one of the nurses) but I didn't stop and bear the pain. One nipple bled and I only gave her the other working one and I still pump the bleeding one. I began to hope that the bleeding one can recover quickly while I breastfeed Aisyah with the other one. But the other too bled and I started giving her formula milk because i didn't really have a choice.

I contacted up all my mommy frens how to recover my bleeding nipples asap. At the same time, I also pump to allow the production of milk to continue. I was really desperate that time. I know that as soon as I stop breastfeeding, this will be the end of my desire to breastfeed her. And true enuff, after one week...Aisyah refused to drink my milk and screamed even louder when I persistently wanted her to breastfeed. I read that once the child goes hungry, they will breastfeed but with Aisyah, she didn't!

Furthermore, comments like me being less-endowed really really hurt me and causing me to be depressive. I was like all alone in my mission to breastfeed and hearing people saying they never breastfeed their kids but their kids turned out well too made me even more down. I decided to give Aisyah the formula milk. I still continue pumping hoping Aisyah will drink it one day. But Aisyah's refusal to accept my milk and comments like mebbe not enuff milk to feed my lil one made me totally gave up. I really felt I have failed as a mother. Only Allah knows the sorrows of a mother who can't breastfeed her child. And was terkilan when the tukang urot asked me everytime why I never breastfeed my baby when I have so much milk for someone small sized like me. Wah manz...I was distraught and blamed myself for not trying harder. After this experience, I'm more determined to breastfeed if I ever do have children again....insyaAllah.

So mommies who didn't manage to breastfeed your kids successfully, it really doesn't mean you're a bad mother. We've tried our best and do continue that niat of breastfeeding your lil ones if you have the chance. And congrats to those who have reached the 6mths (and beyond!) mark. The World Breastfeeding Week has just started and go on and take a look at the activities in SIngapore to increase the awareness of the advantages of breastfeeding.

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 03, 2006 at 5:35 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.