once upon a norza

Will be saying 'Bye bye everyone' in a week time but somehow it seems like forever. I had even kept one of my colleagues' farewell email message which I plan to use that to send to everyone here on my last day. hehe. So here are some tips on how to look busy in your workplace.

Look Busy

There’s an easy formula for becoming a slacker: Do nothing. Go get more coffee. Repeat. But how can you slack and still keep your job? It’s all about appearances. Dilbert creator Scott Adams lists low-impact ways to look like an overachiever.
- Visiting the toilets can help too...scrunged up your face as if you got LS. Your colleagues will notice and sympathise with you and will even allow you to rest a while!

Complain that you’re totally swamped at every opportunity. Use phrases like “up to my ass in alligators” and “jumping from one fire to another” to make your job sound kind of sexy and dangerous.
-Proclaim that yesterday you did OT and say, "Wah liao, today very tired sia...now still got so many things to do..." and add a heavy and long sigh after that.

Carry a piece of paper wherever you go. To give yourself the necessary urgent facial expression and body language, imagine it’s something incredibly important, like a stay of execution from the governor.

Never clean your cubicle. After all, if you had any spare cycles you wouldn’t let yourself live like a pig.

Emailing looks like work. Email friends and family often.
-And posting blog entries too..hurhur

If you feel like talking instead of working, talk to your boss. That counts as work no matter what you’re chatting about. The ideal topic of conversation is how poorly all of your coworkers are performing.
- Will not work here...:P

If you wear glasses, leave an old pair on the desk as though you will be right back. Then go home.
- Carry your most important stuffs e.g. wallet, phone in your pocket. Walk out of the door (in a rush!) with a file. People will think you're off to an important meeting.

Leave voicemails for coworkers at 1:00 am, even if you’re getting up just to take a whiz. If you really want to inspire awe, leave a message for your boss with your thoughts on the company’s outdated filing system at 11:30 pm on New Year’s Eve.

Be sure to get involved in unquantifiable projects. You want to be doing a lot of consulting and advising and attending. Avoid anything with a hard and fast deadline.

Learn to sleep with your back to the cubicle entrance. You’ll have to practice to keep your head from slumping over, but it’s worth it. If you can’t pull that off, try a neck brace painted the same color as your skin.
- I think I managed this one well....well, I was too sleepy...my eyes magically close on their own...honest!

Bitch about your job as much as possible. This is considered work even though it’s fun.
- Oh yes, we do this everyday. Who don't? :P

Taken from Wired

This entry was posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 at 1:45 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.